Hold On To Me
by HopelessOwls
Summary: A different take on what Zuko and Katara's life would have been like after the war ended. Short oneshot/drabble. Rated M for an uncomfortable theme just to be safe.


**Authors Note: There is a slight mentioning of rape in this, that's why it's rated M. And I guess because there is also a mention of sex? Whatever, it's M just to be safe. Hope you like it!  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of the characters.**

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Zuko always jumps when Katara holds him.

It doesn't matter when or how, he does. No matter if she always presses close to him after they make love, he starts when he feels her soft, warm body press against his side and her lips brush his collarbone. No matter if she always hugs him when she sees him in the morning, he always flinches from surprise. No matter if she loves to surprise him by wrapping her arms around his waist or neck and pressing close to his back, he always jumps when he feels her hands touch him.

But it never means he doesn't want her to – Katara knows that.

After the war ended and Zuko became Fire Lord, everything seemed peaceful, or as peaceful as was possible post-war. Zuko rose to the throne and most of the world welcomed him. He made changes to the Fire Nation and he did the best he could to repair the scars his forefathers left on the earth and he did his best to make life better for everybody.

But then he asked his father what happened to his mother. And he found out.

Ozai told him what had happened to his mother after her banishment and before her eventual death. After Ozai sent her out of the Fire Nation in disgrace, Ursa moved to a small town in the Earth Kingdom and lived there peacefully for years. Then, one day, Fire Nation soldiers moved in as well. They recognized her and sent word to Ozai. He ordered them to act.

They took Ursa prisoner and for months kept her captive in a secret prison that very few knew about. For months the guards, beat, starved, and raped her. Ozai participated too. For months, Ursa survived, barely, in her prison, until it became too much. She ended her own life on the same day Zuko received his scar.

Zuko was never meant to know this. Iroh had known and kept the secret to protect his nephew. Azula had known and said nothing because, while she would say she didn't care, the story disturbed her and she preferred to not think of it. Ozai had been waiting for the right moment to destroy his son.

That was what Ozai had wanted all along. He had wanted to make his son feel like he had done well, like he had won, and then tear him down again. When Zuko had gone to his father to ask about his mother's whereabouts everything was revealed.

And of course, he made Zuko think the whole thing was his fault.

After that visit, Zuko's demons roared to life. All the things he thought about himself, that he wasn't good enough for anything or anyone, that he was _tainted _by his father's bloodline were brought to the surface and stayed there. All the progress he had made over the years was destroyed by one conversation with his father.

When Katara had shown interest in him, he had wanted her and pushed her away. Zuko isolated himself from his friends, stuck in his own mind, in a place where he was the bad guy and he couldn't escape from it.

But when Katara was persistent with him, he let her in. He told her of his darkest secrets and his mother's story and all that he was feeling. She helped him fight his demons. He still believed he wasn't worthy of her, but it was less about his father and more about himself. He accepted her love and returned it in his own way, with gentle touches and openness. He stopped avoiding his friends and threw all his energy into repairing the world.

Zuko was still surprised at his relationship with Katara and refused to place anywhere but on a pedestal. He told her he didn't deserve her and she told him he did. He told her he wasn't good for her and she told him he was. He refused to believe her and she waited for her words to sink in so that he could heal and return to the boy who had said it was his destiny to train the Avatar and stole Katara's heart.

He always jumps when Katara holds him. But now he returns her embraces with his own.


End file.
